Certain times of the year some people do not want to talk about certain topics. Like politics in October. Oh, oh. It is October. Will you stop reading because I mentioned a forbidden topic?
Some topics are only open for discussion in designated settings, like religion in a church building, at a Bible study, or on a religious retreat.
Few people will talk in detail about their personal finances openly, in any setting, even with their financial advisors, trusted friends, and those capable of giving them good advice.
There are good reasons for topics to be avoided: when there is not enough time to properly share sufficient details; when a child or person is not mature enough to understand the topic; when an individual has been deeply wounded and processing the topic would bring unmerciful pain to them or intensify their wound.
Yet the majority of times subjects are forbidden is due to an unwillingness to consider another’s perspective, especially when one or both parties believe they already fully know the other’s perspective and believe the only reason for having a conversation is to convince the other party of who is right and who is wrong.
As I age, I am increasingly aware of the need for a person to hear information multiple times before they actually hear it. And to understand a new topic they often need to hear the same information seven to twelve times. Understanding someone’s perspective does not mean you agree with the information.
Over the past four years I have been getting educated on how communists work to take over a country. A lot of their strategy involves getting the people of the country to accept lies as truth. They infiltrate education systems and media channels to continuously repeat lies related to parts of their strategy.
If this is the first time you are being exposed to this information, I suspect you classify the above statement as a lie, or at least as unbelievable.
I share this example not to try to convince you this is one of the communist key tactics, but to demonstrate the difficulty to have open dialogue on a forbidden topic.
In new relationships we tend to be more open to discuss topics as we are trying to get to know one another (a time when fewer topics are in the forbidden category). The more we believe we know one another the less we tend to have open discussions on select topics, because we:
- Have already made up our minds.
- Do not believe the other party has any new information they can offer us.
- Believe the only purpose of additional discussion is for the other party to persuade you to agree with their perspective.
Yet God created us to be continual learners. When we are young, our parents and environment provide filters to new information we are exposed to. As we age, we put our own filters in place to information we have special interest in. Social media and news sources filter information they determine is important to shape our worldview.
Discussing forbidden topics strengthens relationships, as long as we give one another the freedom to have a different perspective. Joy in relationships increases when there is less need for our beliefs to be perfectly aligned others.